During my last visit to Rio de Janeiro (Brazil), I went to the museum MAR with a school friend, Alex Castro. He's a talented writer and later that day he presented me with his translation of the Autobiography of the Poet Slave, Juan Francisco Manzano. Later that month, I finished the book, which describes the rough life of a slave during the 1800's in Cuba. No matter how many slavery stories I read or watch, they never cease to touch my heart. Especially considering my position as BDSM "slave owner"
As we grew up, both my grandma and mom always taught us to treat Claire with respect and kindness. Even so, there was a separation. She would serve meals and attend to our requests, before eating her own meal. At my birthday parties, she would wear a serving uniform (was it at my mother's instructions or because she chose to?) She would travel with us during holidays, join in boat trips, play with us on the beach, joining for card games at family gatherings but always keeping a polite distance and retreating to the kitchen and out of the "action" often, especially when strangers and extended family visited. Was that her comfort zone due to her personality? Or was she taught to not participate as an equal?
In my recent visit, we went to a cousin's birthday and almost as we arrived, Claire went straight into the kitchen to help my aunt and her maids with the meal preparation, and ended up spending the entire night there. I invited her to join in for the meal and the cake cutting, but she declined, wanting to eat with the other maids.They stayed in the kitchen all evening, and only ate dinner after all the guests had eaten, dishes were washed and cake served, close to 11pm. I felt awkward that she was doing a lot of work serving when she wasn't "hired" to do that. She was invited as a guest. Still, even when I tried to help, she would shoo me away, saying she had it under control. Was she instructed by my aunt to stay in the kitchen or did she feel a resistance to be social among my family, most of which have known her for years? It seems that after so many years as a servant, she is more comfortable in "her place". Would she have chosen differently had she been given the option earlier in life?
Immediately I was jolted into the awareness of my privilege. My family were slave owners, my parents carried on the cultural servitude of my “black mother”, and now I am a Domina, mistress of countless consensual slaves. In all these years of pro-domming, have I been unconsciously cleansing the karma of my family through replaying slavery but now with consent, kindness and concern for my "servants"? Or are my actions a rebalancing of the fairness scales, as most of my subs are rich, white, privileged males?
Many domme friends tease me for being too kind to my slaves. Could that be due to my life experience with real life servitude and inequality? Sometimes, I feel torn between my sadistic desires and a sense of guilt. Could I be causing psychological trauma with the welts I yield? Why do my subs want that pain? When am I going too far? Yes, we may use consent and safewords… Being strict and evil yields results, which I enjoy and most subs prefer a stern Domina. But where to draw the line between fantasy games and reality? How long can I play the evil queen before I start believing the hype and actually mistreating my subs, physically and/or emotionally?
You will find more information about Mistress Kalyss Mercury on her official website https://www.kalyssmercury.com/